Monday, April 13, 2015

The First time I met Ben




I wish our first date story was a lot cuter than it was but hey, life sometimes doesn't do fairy tales quite the way you'd like. The story does require a little bit of back tracking and it all starts with my friend Shane...cue picture!

This is the first photo I have of Shane and me (on my Flickr at least) and was taken 2008, at the movies.  Do you like my lip ring? such a rebel! I actually met Shane in high school, maybe around 1998?!? One of my friends, Debbie introduced us (he was dating her best friend at the time) and we stayed friends ever since.

Around 2008-2009 Shane had moved from Brisbane to the Sunshine Coast, I was still living in Brisbane and would go visit. I fell in love with the Coast and it wasn't soon after that I had moved in with Shane and his sister, Laura.

 I owe much to Shane and our friendship, I went from a city girl to a camping, nature loving, adventure person.

Mud fight!!


Okay let's get to the Ben part...



In 2009 I went on some funny and horrible online dates. The funny were good/bad but the horrible were downright bad. The previous date to Ben's was one of those bad ones. In summary the guy was very controlling (we went out on two dates) was convinced I was this super sad person and that he could fix me and got angry when the dates didn't go to plan. I politely explained at the end of our last date that I didn't think we were compatible and then he sent me horrible messages saying I was the worst person in the World. After two dates! When people say to be careful with online dating, I'm the first to admit I was a bit naive and now 100% advocate for meeting in a public place, letting your friends know where you are and having a few backup plans.

So after telling Shane my horrible date he was adamant that he got to suss out the next dude and I was 100% in agreeance

Which brings us to meeting Ben, we had spoken to each other online and on the phone for a couple of months, I was already in love with him, lol and I really wanted to meet him.  I was half thinking he wasn't really into me but also half hoping it would all work out :) He had around five photos on his profile page and they all looked a little different so I wasn't really sure who would be knocking at my door.

Shane and I were at the supermarket together one afternoon, I was texting Ben and Shane said, I should just bite the bullet and invite him around for burritos, so I did...*gulp* and we walked out with burrito ingredients.

The next bit is a bit of a blur but I clearly remember opening the door that night and seeing Ben and feeling instantly deflated. My first thought was that he was way too cool for me after seeing his manicured facial hair and silver chain around his neck and realising he wasn't the dude for me. Obviously this has a happy ending and those two points were cleared up later :)

We made burritos and watched zombie land which actually doesn't sound like a bad first date but the way Ben tells it, sounds slightly awkward. I don't remember this but apparently Ben was downgraded to the beanbag on the floor and Shane and me lay on the bed together. Had I had half a brain I probably would of thought through that a bit more but for me, there was this super cool dude in my house eating my burritos and I, being the pretty nervous/shy person that I am, took the easy option and hung back with my homie. Ben on the other hand was thinking he had landed himself into some threesome situation and was confused as all hell.

Weirdest date ever? I dunno but I'd sure do it a little differently. Once we had quickly established Ben wasn't a serial killer and I wasn't dating Shane our next dates were a whole lot more awesome.


The next problem was months after dating we hadn't even kissed yet, there were some late night gelato missions at the beach and some heart pounding moments for me where things got way too romantic and I was 100% awkward but still, zip, zilch, nothing. I had a debrief with Shane who told me I was quickly heading into friends zone and I needed to step up my game and kiss this boy. Oh boy. I don't know about you guys but I have never ever had to make the first move. I still wasn't sure if Ben was super cool and not that into me or just hella shy like me but I was super into him and I needed to seal the deal.

We had a  party at our place and I did what any super cool girl would do, I drank a lot and then I kissed him and the rest is history :) We talked about this all later when it was less fresh and less awkward and he too was just as nervous as me, he does refer to the first kiss and the "kiss raping" but hey I'm proud I had to guts to step up and get us out of the friends zone, even if it was in the most awkward way ever :p


Oh and remember his super cool facial hair and silver chain? I later learned that he had visited his friend Lucy prior and she had given him his super cool facial hair and told him that chicks would dig it and his silver chain was a gift from his late step dad, something he never took off :) It eventually broke, so he now keeps it cherished and safe in his room.  I can now say that Ben was exactly who I thought and hoped he would be and it makes me smile that we were both as nervous as each other. 

Okay it's your turn - first date story time! feel free to share it on your blog or leave a comment below, you know I love the romance!

22 comments:

  1. This is so great. That first date sounds incredibly awkward but I love it. I can only imagine what was going through Ben's head when it was happening. It seemed to work out though! The silver chain thing is really sweet.

    My story also involves me making the first move. I technically first met Robert at my friends housewarming party. We didn't say anything to each other except 'hello', and I was planning on moving to Melbourne in a few months and at that party pursued someone else that I wasn't exactly interested in having a long-term thing with.

    Fast forward a few weeks and I reluctantly went to Kerbside with some work friends and my friend Hetha invited our outside-of-work mutual friend, Matt (who I met through OKC years before - Brisbane is far too small) and Robert as well. After properly meeting Robert I was so taken by him. This cute guy that dressed well and was a scientist. Hell yes.

    When everyone else went to another club to dance I stayed at Kerbside with Robert and chatted until midnight. Then I stayed at a work friends house, added Robert to Facebook and sent him a message at 2am asking if he'd like to meet up for coffee at uni. I proceeded to turn off my phone and threw it against the wall.

    The rest is history!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahhh so brave Josie! How scary to send that text but hey, it obviously all worked out amazingly :) Yay for cute scientists that dress well - thanks for sharing, I have a stupid big grin on my face :)

      Delete
  2. Awww Fee, the cuteness!!!!! I think you guys are such an awesome couple, very glad it all came together for you in the end :D you pair of cuties!
    You know Dan & my first date story I think as you and Tom and will were all there too hahaha :)
    But again - I made the first move! (After talking online for ages and being pretty much sold already lol)
    Anyhoo I'm so excited to see you and Ben soon, miss your faces xxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You guys are an awesome couple!! I'm kind of thinking that it's a nice reflection on these boys we had to make the first move, though these shy guys still owe us a bit of gratitude for having to step out of our own comfort zones :P Look forward to seeing you too!!!!

      Delete
  3. oh, I loved reading this. perfectly imperfect. you guys are so cute together. and yes, more pics of the two of you, please xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We really don't have too many photos together which is sad - better start harassing more strangers when we're out and about to take our photo :) I like that too, perfectly imperfect, fits into some of your recent thoughts :)

      Delete
  4. first dates stories are the BEST. i love how innocent your intentions were (and unfortunately a little awkward too, but don't worry, so were ALL of ours ;) hehehe!) but they were equally genuine. ben recognized that in you and you in him, which is part of what makes you two such a perfect fit. thanks for sharing your sweet and happy story. xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They are the best hey, I think the awkwardness definitely adds something, thank-you Lucinda for your sweet words :)

      Delete
  5. Ah! I loved reading every word in this post!! Made me all giggly and I ended up cheering you on for your first kiss! lol :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh this is seriously cute. I laughed out at so many parts, the threesome part, the manicured facial hair part and the kiss raping part! Hehe. You guys make an awesome couple x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. aww, lol, us humans can be pretty funny sometimes hey - I'm appreciative that it all had a happy ending :)

      Delete
  7. oh this is such a sweet story! you guys are so adorable! I love how you shared your awkwardness! and so brave of you to make the first move haha. definitely inspiring me to be a little braver, its so hard to meet new people when you're not super forward >_>

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know, I think I'm only able to share it now because there's five years between now and all that awkwardness :P lol. It is really hard when being forward isn't in your nature and you just have to go against what comes naturally - bite the bullet, take a depth breath and hope everything works out alright :)

      Delete
  8. Awwww this is so sweet and fun, and kept me reading with excitement. Lol about the kiss raping, I was like you and couldn't make the first move, so brave Fee for putting you both out of the "friends zone" (btw, my head went instantly to Friends with Joey and Ross when reading it!) - I've already talked about how I knew Dani was the one, and I like to think that as your story it has its highs and lows but that only makes it more real and somehow perfect :) I should talk about our first date though? But it's not so interesting as yours! not a tiny bit! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The first move is so hard and what's funny was since I'd never had to do it before, I actually didn't even fathom how scary it is! Or maybe it's not scary to everyone?!? I just had to re-watch the Joey and Ross clip, I had no idea friends zone originated with those two (or three). I used to be a fan of friends but my memory is a bit hazy on specifics (have you been doing some friend watching marathons or do you just have one of those awesome memories?) :) You should totally talk about your first date! And yup highs and lows are definitely a reflection on life and sometimes they also help provide a good laugh when looking back on :)

      Delete
  9. i never had dates o_o always fell in love with long time friends ahahah - love your story <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :) :) long time friends sound like a delightful way!

      Delete
  10. So so cute! Go you for kissing him!!

    My boyfriend went to the same school as me but we never talked. Several of years later, we bumped into each other at the tattoo convention in Berlin, discovered that we lived in the same city (London) and agreed to meet up when we get back home. He got in touch asking to meet and I kept putting it off because I knew there was something between us and I was so nervous. But we met up eventually and kissed on that very date!

    Katrina Sophia

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad I'm not the only nervous person, I think it's impossible not to be, it's also sweet that you guys made sure to keep in contact :) :)

      Delete
  11. So cute! What a lovely story — and good for you for being bold! Sounds like it was well worth it :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank goodness for liquid courage! he he he he

      Delete

If you would like to be notified of further replies click the "notify me" box (in the bottom right hand corner)