Thursday, January 23, 2020

Image Flat House

Full disclosure this blog post is mostly for me, a little time capsule of photos of our last rental.  The photos are mostly of the house empty with a few lived in photos for fun :) 

After we did the bond clean I went back, by myself, for the last time.  It was really hard.  There's a hallway in the middle of house and it's what Ben and I refer to as the portal.  Specifically one exact spot in the hallway.  When we first moved in I felt like the house was slopping.  It turns out it was but it was always in this one section of the hallway that I felt it.  It was also the spot that Gremlin had a trip out in (after being dosed up on pain meds from the vet). He stayed leaning against the wall in the hallway with his legs in the air.  We were so worried about him, with huge saucer eyes and his body frozen.  I went and fetched a pillow from our bedroom and laid down next to him.  I played meditation music from my phone and gently repeated that everything was going to be okay.  At this point we hadn't quite named it the portal and I had labelled Gremlin's experience into the bad column.  When I look back now though I have a different view.

When I returned for the last time, to take photos, I sat in the spot and cried.  It was the spot where Ben stood with Mum on speaker phone and I listened to her telling me Dad had died and if you then looked exactly up at the ceiling, it was where the smoke detector went off randomly the night he passed. 

It was hard to leave.

The window in my bedroom also felt like my main communication source with Dad after he died.  I can't really explain it but it felt very clear and easy.  I don't know if it's all in my mind but I never found a spot like that after.  I knew I needed to move from this rental, I needed to leave something behind.

house tour

patio entrance

house entrance

lounge room

kitchen entrance

old style kitchen

black and white photo of a cat

kitchen storage
breaking station

girl cat peaches

orange grevillea

gremlin on back stairds

going downstairs

backyard view

back of house view

wood working area

laundry underneath house

hills hoist

the portal

 The portal (above)

oyster mushroom buckets

black and white bathroom photo

shower and bath

blue painted bedroom


dated curtain

white room

peach painted walls

humble dumpling artwork

front garden statue


ben reading with peachy the cat

ben and his cat reading

Sunday, January 19, 2020

Xmas Gifts

It's always fun to see what gifts were unwrapped (last!) year. 
99% are courtesy of my lovely cousin Heather and her family, always spoilt. My Uncle sent me through some photos and Jake, got me the scratchie!

cute christmas wrapping

Heather's gift presentation is always beyond amazing!

christmas tree unicorn ornament

christmas haul from kikki k

black ink pens

kikki k a sentence a day

cute paperclips

kikki k acorn ornaments

kikki k notebook elastic

kikki k diary and planner

vintage family photograph

oracle cards

five dollars and a scratchie
Let me know if you scored anything rad!

Friday, January 17, 2020

10 Lessons I've Learned This Past Decade

Thanks to the lovely Leo Babauta from Zen Habits I've been inspired to write my own 10 lessons that I've learnt in the past decade :) 

1) It's a short ride. 
On the 10th of October 2012 I found out my Grandma had Leukaemia on the 13th of December she passed away and in between I became her carer. On April 17th 2019 my Dad passed away suddenly in his sleep. This past decade I lost two of the most important people in my life. I truly wish with all my heart they were still physically around me. They are not and the lesson here is that one day you won't be either. I don't think it's healthy to contemplate mortality constantly but it's nice to remind yourself to make the most of what is left. 

ben and fee

2) Growth is Super Crazy Important.
In 2010 I met the love of my life, Ben. The major strength in our relationship (besides a whole lot of other good stuff like friendships and affection, support and silliness) is our joint desire for growth, both individually and together. Ben has taught me to communicate a whole lot more effectively. I've learnt to be less passive aggressive and more clear and that speaking up won't negate my kindness. 

3) Compassion for others will (almost selfishly) make you feel better about yourself
In 2015 when my cat killed a bird and then that night I ate chicken and contemplated the hypocrisy of being upset at my cat, I've been travelling down a more committed path of compassion. The Minimalists (Josh and Ryan) talk about leading a life where your short term actions meet your long term values. I like to think I've always had compassion for others and animals but my actions really didn't align until I became vegan

4) Love is the answer. 
Everyone keeps saying it but it's a cliché because it's true. 2013 was the first time I'd ever held a kitten and the year I started my blog “I used to be scared of cats”. Ben slowly broke down my fear of cats by slowly showing me how to interact with them and how loving they could be and in 2014 we adopted our first cat Gremlin. If I hadn't opened my heart I would have missed out on having the daily love of our two cats. Showing love to another will (with the right boundaries in place) always be beneficial. 

growing flowers

5) Filling your life with things you love will make you love your life. 
Brewing kombucha, learning how to bleach my hair, slack-lining, making a veggie garden, yoga, film photography, library visits, gratitude journal, growing flowers, learning chainsaw for woodwork, growing mushrooms, going on yearly Fraser camping trips, learning to mosaic, weaving baskets, saving orchids from development lots, discovering new swimming holes. Whatever weird thing you love, fill your life with it now! 

photo before breaking my ankle

6) Things don't always go to plan but you can't let that ruin your now.
In 2015 I got my implanon out to conceive a baby and I'm still not pregnant and that is okay. It was the decade I learnt I had endometriosis and that's okay. I broke my fibula pretending to fly for a photo (proof above!) and that's okay. If you're still here then all you need is gratitude for that. 

abandoned Japanese theme park

7) Travel equals Inspiration. 
Stumbling upon the hungry ghost festival in Singapore or visiting an abandoned theme park in japan, travel throws rich inspiration at your soul and you never know where that will eventually take you. Travel can also be expensive so no need to get lost in fomo, just travel closer to home :)

8) Death isn't scary - spirituality will let you see the bigger picture. 
In 2016 we were driving in a camper van in the snow without snow tyres and I honestly thought we were going to die and I was okay. In the last few years, viewing myself as a soul has changed a lot inside of me. I can't properly articulate it all (or any of it) but I have a strong belief that we're grander then our physical bodies and we have a purpose here to fulfil.

prom party photo booth

9) You're in charge. 
When I turned 30 in 2014 I created an epic prom party for myself. I realised any time you sulk about something in your life, there's action you can do to reverse it.  Triggers for me are birthdays and New Years so I plan things on these days. You're in charge! 

10) You can do anything, it's just your thoughts that limit you.
Learning probate, buying a house, jumping into water from my year of fear project. To be honest, this is a relatively new lesson for me but I look forward to where it leads me, in this new decade ahead.

Any lesson spring to mind for you? Please share away :)