Image Flat House

Full disclosure this blog post is mostly for me, a little time capsule of photos of our last rental.  The photos are mostly of the house empty with a few lived in photos for fun :) 

After we did the bond clean I went back, by myself, for the last time.  It was really hard.  There's a hallway in the middle of house and it's what Ben and I refer to as the portal.  Specifically one exact spot in the hallway.  When we first moved in I felt like the house was slopping.  It turns out it was but it was always in this one section of the hallway that I felt it.  It was also the spot that Gremlin had a trip out in (after being dosed up on pain meds from the vet). He stayed leaning against the wall in the hallway with his legs in the air.  We were so worried about him, with huge saucer eyes and his body frozen.  I went and fetched a pillow from our bedroom and laid down next to him.  I played meditation music from my phone and gently repeated that everything was going to be okay.  At this point we hadn't quite named it the portal and I had labelled Gremlin's experience into the bad column.  When I look back now though I have a different view.

When I returned for the last time, to take photos, I sat in the spot and cried.  It was the spot where Ben stood with Mum on speaker phone and I listened to her telling me Dad had died and if you then looked exactly up at the ceiling, it was where the smoke detector went off randomly the night he passed. 

It was hard to leave.

The window in my bedroom also felt like my main communication source with Dad after he died.  I can't really explain it but it felt very clear and easy.  I don't know if it's all in my mind but I never found a spot like that after.  I knew I needed to move from this rental, I needed to leave something behind.

  

 The portal (above)