Ben
awakes and he calls the smoke alarm the ghost alarm and said it
creeped him out a little but I feel like it's a good
portal and I want Dad to make contact with me.
Ben rang to
book me an appointment because I was worried the flu that I had given Dad on the 6th (the last walk we did together) may have
contributed to his death. Last night I was worried I would
die in my sleep.
My bulk billed doctor was all booked (being
the day before the easter long weekend) and so they told us their
other clinic had availability. A nurse saw me first to get my
vitals for the doctor. I told her straight away my Dad had just died
and she was super comforting, offered me a tissue box and told me her
history of working in palliative care. She reassured me straight away that
the flu didn't contribute to Dad's death and she said she would talk to the
doctor before I saw him so I wouldn't have to repeat my story. The
doctor gave me a script for antibiotics but told me I was near the
end of my flu and that right now I didn't need them. He said my body
will probably take longer to process the flu because of my trauma.
He was very kind.
We
went to the library and I got out two books on grief
Ben
had gone past our neighbour with a free lime sign and I told him how Dad had dropped limes off on Saturday. Ben and I go for a swim. I go
to the same swimming spot every week and have never seen the amazing
array of mushrooms. On my last walk with Dad on the 6th
it was a walk where we got to spot an amazing amount of mushrooms.
Lydia took a photo of Dad when we had reached the falls and he looked
so happy, he was so happy.
Back
at home I bought in my washing and Dad was telling me it's good to do
regular tasks.
5:33 Mum rang to say the coroner's report had arrived. It wasn't his
latest health attempts that had pushed him too far, it wasn't the
flu. It was calloused arteries and a history of heart disease
in his family. His heart had filled with blood and he most likely
went into a coma before his heart gave out.
/I'll
be sharing a series of diary entries two weeks around my Dad's death
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