I wake up in a fog, it's harder than I had imagined. I read Mum's card and it is kind and I open her present a black cat. I sit on my bedroom floor and gremlin curls up with me, he has been so needy of late. I work out a plan but even that is hard. I've decided to get up and have breakfast and read poetry on the verandah in the sun. Ben gets up and I tell him I'm sad and he hugs me. He comes out on the verandah and gives me lots of options and I choose kayaking. We need to go to the shops first to get a lock and he buys me a plant.
The sun is finally out, I put my washing (that's been drying so painfully slow under the house) outside. I'm grateful the sun decided to come out for my birthday
We go kayaking and it's nice, Dad would have liked it. Ben and I work together to save a bee and it's the highlight of my day. We drive home and see 11:11 in Ben's car's radio clock.
Matty messages me, happy birthday and I tell him I'll email him all the Dad updates.
We go home and get changed and head to Nurcha for lunch, we eat so much and come home with full bellies and go lie in bed. I'm curled up to Ben and fall asleep and it all feels so nice. Ben wakes me to tell me my phone is ringing. I let it ring through, I've done a ban on technology today but it's Mum and it might be something about the funeral and she probably just wants to wish me a happy birthday. I call her back. The conversation goes in a completely different direction, not a good direction but she messages back and apologises.
I feel incredibly sad and explain to Ben how I know I should continue the day but I'm craving the comfort of home, he says he needs to take over and plans a walk along the headline of Caloundra. The sun has long disappeared but leaves us enough light to scramble back up the headland and we go watch Dumbo at the movies. Dad had wanted to take J to Dumbo, on the school holidays.
/I'll be sharing a series of diary entries two weeks around my Dad's death
The sun is finally out, I put my washing (that's been drying so painfully slow under the house) outside. I'm grateful the sun decided to come out for my birthday
We go kayaking and it's nice, Dad would have liked it. Ben and I work together to save a bee and it's the highlight of my day. We drive home and see 11:11 in Ben's car's radio clock.
Matty messages me, happy birthday and I tell him I'll email him all the Dad updates.
We go home and get changed and head to Nurcha for lunch, we eat so much and come home with full bellies and go lie in bed. I'm curled up to Ben and fall asleep and it all feels so nice. Ben wakes me to tell me my phone is ringing. I let it ring through, I've done a ban on technology today but it's Mum and it might be something about the funeral and she probably just wants to wish me a happy birthday. I call her back. The conversation goes in a completely different direction, not a good direction but she messages back and apologises.
I feel incredibly sad and explain to Ben how I know I should continue the day but I'm craving the comfort of home, he says he needs to take over and plans a walk along the headline of Caloundra. The sun has long disappeared but leaves us enough light to scramble back up the headland and we go watch Dumbo at the movies. Dad had wanted to take J to Dumbo, on the school holidays.
/I'll be sharing a series of diary entries two weeks around my Dad's death
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