Friday 26.04.19

I go for a walk and checked my emails, two orders, one from the night before. I feel stuck putting them together, but I have to, life goes on. I'm meant to be at Mum's at 10am but I shower because my hair is greasy and go down to the post office and arrive at Mum's at 10:30am we talk about the plan, about going over to Dad's house. Judy calls on the drive over and Mum says we are just about at the house. Judy is the lady who is doing Dad's emergency files in his business. She's been corresponding about everything and just before I left home, she had send through an email that I had glanced over and it sent overwhelm through my body.

It's nice meeting her, she's lovely and warm and expressing her sympathy for Dad being gone. There's a young gentlemen that's doing the soliciting part, he struggles to open the safe. Judy shows me the piles she has made, Dad's personal case, a cheque that still needs banking. We drive to the bank but forget to bring the will's invoice, the main reason we are going. We drive back.

We arrive at quarter past 12 the lady at the counter is helpful and she tells us to come back at 1pm, so we drive back to Dad's to kill some time. Mum and me sit at the dining room table and there are lots of spaces between words. We drive back to the bank. The young gentlemen apologies for being late, he had lunch and had to brush his teeth for the benefit of us, I like that, it feels human. We can't access Dad's account because it's a business account, he gives me steps I need to do, more steps, I'm tired but I told Mum earlier with breaks for tears that Dad would have done all of this for me, it's the least I can do.

I stop by Australia post and pay for Dad's rates and water and car rego, Mum mentions we should check which ute it is and I shyly mention that Dad had offered me his old ute and that I would like to pay the rego.

We go back over to Mum's.  We now need to go buy J a suit and Mum wants to get a photo printed for the coffin. We drive to Stafford, I stop in at Suncorp and pay for Dad's funeral. Lowes don't have the correct slim line suit range, we need to go to Toombul. As we load into the car, Mum is breathing funny, she has anxiety. I try and talk through the steps, order of service and the photo printed, J is helping and I can help. We load back into my car and I drive across town. We get J's suit and the lady asked whose wedding it is, and Mum tells her it's for his Dad's funeral. It's hard, he's only 16.
It's late by the time I leave, it's been a long day.

Andrew tells me happy birthday and J and Mum give me a card and Mum gives me a present.

I get home and Ben isn't there. I've been thinking about pasta and finally make myself dinner. Ben arrives home and updates me on the house. We read the pest and building report together. The seller want to sell “as is”, Zara is going to forward them the pest report to show them how serious it is. I remember Dad telling me it's a beauty, it makes me smile.

I tell Ben about my birthday tomorrow, and he says he forgot, I'm glad I reminded him.

I go to bed and my eyes are so heavy

/I'll be sharing a series of diary entries two weeks around my Dad's death