Thursday 25.04.19

I wake up at 5:30am and go for a walk, for the first day it's sunny and the beautiful sun takes over the sky.

I wear my new blue sneakers, I thought they would give me blisters but they don't, no one else is out walking and it's the nicest walk so far, maybe ever.

I come home and wash the dishes and my clothing and get ready to go visit Aunty Dell.

I arrive and she's sitting up on the verandah and she yells out over the high balcony that the door is unlocked. I walk up her carpeted stairs to a vast lounge room, with a floral couch and flowers in floral vases. We sit on her balcony and she has made tea cake, which she puts on a tray along with an empty teapot and cups in case I wanted it. We both have sparkling water.

She tells me about Jessie, (Aunty Jessie to her, my Great Grandma, "Gar"), how she was so lovely and would buy her cream puffs. About Cribb island and how Jessie would love just sitting and looking at the water. I tell her, if I was ever sad (long after Jessie has passed) I'd drive to where Jessie's home use to be and sit and watch the water come in and out and how it bought me comfort. We look through photos and I get to see Jessie on her wedding and she is super sweet, with little high heels and a golden arm bracelet and white flowers. She told me how in love she was to Earnest, who I never got to meet but I remember Dad talking fondly of him. That once, Jessie and Earnest had left behind Pam (Dad's Mum, my Grandma "Granit") because they were so distracted by each other. She talks about how much Pam and Blair (my Grandpa) were in love. She shows me photos of houses and of my great great (great?) Grandad who had come across from Sweden and their home in Sweden. Lots of homes, a huge home, 91 campbell street, Toowoomba, that Jessie and her family lived in. She gives me a photo of Dad and his Dad and his brother and Aunty dell's kids over on Cribb island.

Dell is glad Dad helped gift us our home.

She talks about her own home, about needing to update to a modern style, rip out her carpets and make her bathroom white ("on trend"), she tears up and says she likes her bathroom as it is.

She makes me a tuna and rice pasta, with dill and lemon and snow peas. I haven't eaten meat in so many years but I break it for the company and not to be rude.

She shows me around her home, her bathroom with the pink and grey tiles, she offers me blankets and her late husband's film gear and at one point tells me about a couch, I never see the couch but I tell her she is too kind.

She hands me a photo of Dad and his Dad at Cribb island and a photo of a house at Redcliffe I can't remember if it's Granit and Grandad's or Gar's (Jessie) but I go home with a photo and people and photo of a home and I start to realise the importance of houses in my family.

She loads me up with left over cake for Ben and the left over lunch which I eat in the car and feel slightly bad about. I told her something told me to come visit her and we smile and tear up and it's all lovely.

Ben and I go swimming down the road, the water is still fierce but it feels cold and amazing to jump in. I feel genuinely happy.

I search for photos of Dad and Granit and Gar (Jessie) and scan them for myself and maybe for J's photo presentation for Dad's funeral.

/I'll be sharing a series of diary entries two weeks around my Dad's death