World's Greatest Shave

I have to give mad props to my friend Emaya who is doing the World's greatest shave which collects money for the Leukaemia Foundation here in Australia :) Close to home, Leukaemia took my Grandmas life, so I know just how scary the disease is and how quick it can spread and how devastating it can be :( It's over a year since Grandma passed away but I often find myself thinking about her, it can be little things that set me off. I started watching the TV series, Once Upon a Time and I found myself thinking how much she would have liked it which made me have little fantasies about us talking on the phone together - I really miss our chats :(

I honestly knew next to nothing about the Leaukamia prior to Grandma diagnosis I still remember Mum telling me the news over the phone and thinking, how strange it was, because, in my head, only children got Leaukamia. I also remember feeling super hopeful, thinking that Leaukamia was one of the good cancers that people recovered from and that everything was going to be okay. I quickly learned there was much more to the disease and much more that still needs to be done.

So on that long winded note, I thank all these brave soul out there shaving their head in March for a cure. I'm posting Emaya's sponsor link here if you can spare any change for her and ultimately funding towards a cure :) Her sponsor pages is also very funny - even more reason to click on it to have a smile!

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Goodbye Grandma

Goodbye Grandma from Fee Harding on Vimeo.

Grandma's funeral was on Wednesday, it was the final goodbye, I made a little video for it :).

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Goodbye Grandma

On Thursday night my Grandma passed away. It's been an unforgettable two months, finding out her diagnosis of leukaemia on the 10th of October and then saying goodbye on the 13th...two dates firmly imprinted on my brain. I feel like I'm living in a very surreal World, one where people actually die and leave their bodies, where bodies are just shells. What an incredible experience we get to have by living in this World. I'm thinking of all the times, everyday, I've simply taken that experience for granted. My Grandma is one incredibly missed lady. Her funeral is this Wednesday and its all gone so quickly, I haven't even had time to process that it's only three days away. It feels like a lifetime, but only a moment ago I watched her die. So many words in my mind, but I want to fill this entry with fireworks. I know this is silly but the day Mishka passed away, Ben and I headed down to the plaza and fireworks started to go off, we stood and watched them and smiled, "fireworks for Mishka" we couldn't imagine a more perfect send off. On Friday night I sat in the park, in a dark spot by myself and watched our town's annual fireworks display. I smiled through some tears and thought how amazing that Grandma gets some fireworks too. So here are some firework photos for anyone who has ever felt the empty place left by someone special and the reminder of how lucky we all are to still be here :)

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Life on Hold

The pause bottom is currently pressed on my life boom box, so I thought i'd swing by with a quick update. There are so many things I could say about my last few weeks but chaos is probably an appropriate word. On the 10th of October I found out my Grandma has leukaemia, acute McLeod leukaemia to be exact with a "six weeks to live" prognosis. It made every sense in the World to pack up my life and head down to Brisbane to be her carer. I'm almost one month into my stay and if I could describe my self I would say I've become very good at letting go of all those strange little things people do, to be themselves. My strength is that on the other side, I can return to all those things that make me, me :) Unfortunately Grandma can't, not in this World we know anyway. Today she was talking to her friend about why she always puts her clocks ten minutes fast, "to buy some time". Time and how you spend it as it ticks away at an incredibly slow but contradictory fast rate is one of the most interesting things. She told me today that when she is gone she wants people to come into her home and see how clean it is. So that's what I can do for her. When Grandma passes I've made a pact to myself to replace these last memories with some kinder ones I've always and always will keep strongly in my heart.

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Staying at Grandmas

Now I've finished Tassie I get to post lots of other stuff that has been happening and filling up my photo folder, like my recent stay at Grandmas house, love Grandma!

Grandma makes friends where ever she goes

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Grandma's 82nd Birthday

The other week I headed to Grandma's for her birthday, it's always nice to see Grandma and my family. I made Grandma that Pom Pom bunny from this tutorial, if anyone was wondering :p

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My Birthday continued

The day after Australia Zoo I visited my family, hang out at Grandma's house who has the cutest home and got to prolong my birthday which is always nice!

Thanks grandma for the yum tomato salad!

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Easter

I've been saving my pennies to buy a new camera, which I now have in my possession and is awesome, anyhoo I was still getting a hang of the new settings over Easter and accidentally had it on the continuous shooting mode, which lets you take photos very quickly. Grandma went to take a photo of J and me and next thing you know the camera is making loud consecutive, shutter firing noises. Cracked j and I up, scared Grandma and left us with a bunch of photos on my camera, perhaps only funny to me.

I had to run over and tell Grandma to take her finger off the shutter :)

Love my Grandma!

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