Image Flat House

Full disclosure this blog post is mostly for me, a little time capsule of photos of our last rental.  The photos are mostly of the house empty with a few lived in photos for fun :) 

After we did the bond clean I went back, by myself, for the last time.  It was really hard.  There's a hallway in the middle of house and it's what Ben and I refer to as the portal.  Specifically one exact spot in the hallway.  When we first moved in I felt like the house was slopping.  It turns out it was but it was always in this one section of the hallway that I felt it.  It was also the spot that Gremlin had a trip out in (after being dosed up on pain meds from the vet). He stayed leaning against the wall in the hallway with his legs in the air.  We were so worried about him, with huge saucer eyes and his body frozen.  I went and fetched a pillow from our bedroom and laid down next to him.  I played meditation music from my phone and gently repeated that everything was going to be okay.  At this point we hadn't quite named it the portal and I had labelled Gremlin's experience into the bad column.  When I look back now though I have a different view.

When I returned for the last time, to take photos, I sat in the spot and cried.  It was the spot where Ben stood with Mum on speaker phone and I listened to her telling me Dad had died and if you then looked exactly up at the ceiling, it was where the smoke detector went off randomly the night he passed. 

It was hard to leave.

The window in my bedroom also felt like my main communication source with Dad after he died.  I can't really explain it but it felt very clear and easy.  I don't know if it's all in my mind but I never found a spot like that after.  I knew I needed to move from this rental, I needed to leave something behind.

  

 The portal (above)

  

  

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Sprinkles

This post is purely an eye candy, snap shot of a local icecream shop in our town.  The owner does all her own hand lettering and signage which I think is super neat!  I've also been trying out a few different cameras and in the future I'm going to put together a post on my thoughts but just for those interested right now these shots were taken on a fuji xt2 :)

Pastel/signage wonderland!

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Goodbye Grandma

On Thursday night my Grandma passed away. It's been an unforgettable two months, finding out her diagnosis of leukaemia on the 10th of October and then saying goodbye on the 13th...two dates firmly imprinted on my brain. I feel like I'm living in a very surreal World, one where people actually die and leave their bodies, where bodies are just shells. What an incredible experience we get to have by living in this World. I'm thinking of all the times, everyday, I've simply taken that experience for granted. My Grandma is one incredibly missed lady. Her funeral is this Wednesday and its all gone so quickly, I haven't even had time to process that it's only three days away. It feels like a lifetime, but only a moment ago I watched her die. So many words in my mind, but I want to fill this entry with fireworks. I know this is silly but the day Mishka passed away, Ben and I headed down to the plaza and fireworks started to go off, we stood and watched them and smiled, "fireworks for Mishka" we couldn't imagine a more perfect send off. On Friday night I sat in the park, in a dark spot by myself and watched our town's annual fireworks display. I smiled through some tears and thought how amazing that Grandma gets some fireworks too. So here are some firework photos for anyone who has ever felt the empty place left by someone special and the reminder of how lucky we all are to still be here :)

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