White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo was a life-changing read. For someone who never thought of themselves in terms of race, but defended my “non-racist” stance with loads of predicable phrases. I've learned that someone who is white, who lives in a white community and is sheltered from the realities of racism, I need loads more education and I need to do a whole lot more. I need to welcome more diversity into my life, to listen, to stand up, to break white solidarity to see my privilege and not be so damn fragile about being called out upon.
I wrote pages upon pages of notes after reading White Fragility. I've tried my best to summarise what I learned which includes some paraphrasing of the book and direct quotes. Obviously, my main recommendation is to go and read the book - hopefully my following notes inspire you to do so!
DEFINITIONS:
Race (white/black/asian) is socially constructed there's no specific gene that can be used to determine a person's race, no scientific backing. Humans are more similar than different from each other.
Prejudice = pre-judgment of another person
Discrimination = action on prejudice. When a prejudice causes you to act different (less relaxed or avoiding) that's discrimination
Racism = When a racial's group's collective prejudice is backed by the power of legal authority and institutional control it is transformed into racism = default of our society
*People of color may hold prejudices and discriminate against white people but they lack the social and institutional power to transform it into racism - only white people can be racist (page 22)
WHITE PRIVILEGE
David Wellman coined the term 'white privilege' to describe a system of advantage based on race. These advantages include self-worth, visibility, positive expectations, freedom of movement, sense of belonging, entitlement (p.25) The dimensions of racism benefiting white people are usually invisible to whites. White supremacy in society is never acknowledged, white people are rarely asked to think about ourselves as white.
Being white there was a higher chance I would survive my birth based on my race. Moving through life I belonged (I saw myself in tv, best selling novels, blockbusters, magazines, white leaders, teachers, white classmates). If I found myself not belonging (being the racial minority), I could enjoy the novelty factor or avoid the situation if it became too unsettling having been taught to avoid these situations due to being scary, dangerous, or sketchy. When I apply for a job, the person in the hiring position will share my race, and then once employed I never had to feel like I was hired on my race. I'm free to move in any space and be seen as normal, neutral, or valuable. Whites are “just people” our race is never named. I have access to 'flesh' colored makeup, bandages, pencils, educational models in my skin tones and I'm my race is always represented on birthday cards, posters, kid's books.
Few adults acknowledge a lack of racial diversity as a problem, we're taught white segregation is good and that black people's absence is a desirable thing to be sought and maintained while simultaneously denying the fact.
No one claims to be racist anymore but racism, still exists how?
GOOD/BAD BINARY
The simplistic idea that racism is limited to individual intentional acts committed by unkind people is at the root of virtually all white defensiveness on this topic, to move beyond defensiveness we have to let go of this common belief. If I place myself on the “not racist” side what further action is required of me? No action because I'm not a racist, racism is not my problem, this worldview guarantees I will not build my skills in thinking critically about racism or use my position to challenge racial inequality. page 77
Racism is built upon cultural info; images, stories, interpretations, omissions, silences, and passed along from one person and group to the next and from one generation to the next through tv, media, stories told by family and friends. Just think about the issue of having 95% of the top 100 grossing films made by white Americans with 99% of those being men (in 2016).
Racism is so deeply woven into the fabric of our society that in our lifetimes we cannot escape from that continuum but we are not in a fixed position, we can move further along as we actively seek to interrupt racism. Racism isn't something that only happens to people of color it is a relationship in which both groups are involved. page 87
COLOUR-BLIND RACISM
Martin Luther King's famous line of “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” has been used to rebrand racism. White children are taught how to navigate race, how not to point out skin color. Colour blindness is thus promoted as a remedy for racism with white people insisting that they don't see race or if they do, it has no meaning to them. Colour blind ideology makes it difficult for us to address unconscious beliefs on race. The truth is we do see differences and we need to see race in order to acknowledge and challenge racism. page 43
Color Blind Statements Include;
“I was taught to treat everyone the same”
“I don't see color”
“Race doesn't have any meaning to me”
“My parents were/weren't racist so that is why I am not racist”
“Everyone struggles but if you work hard”
“Focusing on race is what will divide us”
“If people are respectful to me, I am respectful to them, regardless of race”
“Children today are so much more open”
“I was picked on because of.... so I don't have white privilege”
“The real oppression is class (or gender, or anything other than race)”
Color-Celebrate Statements Include;
“I work in a very diverse environment/went to diverse school”
“I have people of color in my family”
“I marched for black rights”
“I live among the black people”
All these statements exempt the person from any responsibility and close off any further exploration. For example, if you work with black people you're merely saying racists can't be around black people. If you're taught to treat people all the same then what you're really lacking is socialisation as it's impossible not to judge people. Parents train children not to say certain things that are overtly racist, teaching the child self-censorship rather than how to examine the deeply embedded racial messages we all absorb. A racism-free up upbringing is not possible, because racism is a social system embedded in the culture and its institutions. We are born into this system and have no say in whether we will be affected by it. Most white parents and teachers believe children are color blind which prevents us from honestly addressing racism with children. A study (by Maria Monteiro, Dalila d France, and Ricardo Rodrigues) found racial hostility in children as young as age three and that children learned to hide racism as they got older.
People of color repeatedly state white's refusal to acknowledge racial difference and that power dynamics actually maintain racial inequality. Whites continue to insist that not talking about the difference is necessary for unity “focusing on race is what divides us” but unequal power relations cannot be challenged if they are not acknowledged.
WHITE FRAGILITY IN ACTION
Whites have a predictability when having our racial positions challenged, we expect racial comfort and have less tolerance of racial stress leading to intense emotional reactions (anger, withdrawal, emotional incapacitation, hostile body language, guilt, argumentation, and cognitive dissonance). One way whites protect their positions when challenged on race is to invoke the discourse of self-defense, characterising themselves as victimised, slammed, blamed, and attacked. In this way they hijack the conversation to make it about themselves, silencing the important conversation about racism and closing off self-reflection whilst protecting their limited view.
“you are judging me”
“if you knew or understood me, you would know I can't be racist”
“you're being racist against me”
“I have suffered too” (my suffering/or another form of oppression relieves me of racism or racial privilege)
the accusation of the “race card” being played
playing the outraged victim of “reverse racism”
Tears (especially by white women when called out on racism) are driven by white guilt and are self-indulgent, narcissistic, and ineffective - an excuse for inaction. White men's fragility can show up as taking control of the conversation, speaking first, last, and most often. They can use statements such as “just playing the devil's advocate” “people just need to...”“the true oppression is class” (channel-switching) “I recommend the book..”( intellectualising and distancing) or “correcting” people of color. All these approaches invalidate racial inequality and reassert their dominance.
RACIAL TRIGGERS FOR WHITE PEOPLE
/A fellow white disagreeing with our racial beliefs (challenge to white solidarity)
/Receiving white feedback that our behaviour had a racist impact (challenge to white racial innocence)
/Suggesting that group membership (being part of the white group) is significant (challenge to individualism)
/Acknowledgement that access is unequal between racial groups (challenge to meritocracy)
/Being present with a person of color in a position of leadership (challenge to white authority)
/Being presented with information about another racial group through, for example, movies, in which people of color drive the action but are not in stereotypical roles or multicultural education (challenge to white centrality)
White people complain of “gotcha culture” and if the feedback comes from a black person then they're playing the “race card”. We need to be able to take feedback and build our racial stamina, not require people of color to continually validate our denial. “I know that I have blind spots and unconscious investment in racism. My investments are reinforced every day in mainstream society. I did not set this system up but it does unfairly benefit me, I do use it to my advantage, and I am responsible for interrupting it. I need to work hard to change my role in this system, but I can't do it alone.” page 125-126. White people need race talk to be comfortable and palatable, they don't want to feel like it's their problem. Stopping our racist patterns must be more important than working to convince others that we don't have them. We do have them and people of color already know we have them. We also need to stop privileging the comfort of white people over the pain of racism for people of color, to move past guilt and into action.
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE (chapter 12)
Defensive reaction is what people of color get from white people and it explains why they more often than not don't even try talking to us.
“What would it be like if you could simply give us feedback, have us graciously receive it, reflect and work to change the behaviour?”. A man of color replied, “it would be revolutionary”. The man's response points to how fragile white people are but also how simple it can be to take responsibility for our racism.
We might be able to transfer our feedback reactions to different feelings;
gratitude, excitement, discomfort, motivation, humility, compassion, and interest
When we have these feelings we might engage in in the following behaviours;
reflection, apology, listening, processing, seeking more understanding, grappling, engaging, believing
We also need to create new ASSUMPTIONS;
/Being good or bad is not relevant
/Racism is a multilayered system embedded in our culture
/All of us are socialised into the system of racism
/Racism cannot be avoided
/Whites have blind spots on racism and I have blind spots on racism
/Racism is complex and I don't have to understand every nuance of the feedback to validate the feedback
/Whites are/I am unconsciously invested in racism
/Bias is implicit and unconscious; I don't expect to be aware of mine without a lot of ongoing effort
/Giving us white people feedback on racism is risky for people of color, so we can consider the feedback a sign of trust
/Feedback on white racism is difficult to give; how I am given the feedback is not as relevant to the feedback itself
/Authentic antiracism is rarely comfortable. Discomfort is key to my growth and thus desirable.
/White comfort maintains the racial status quo, so discomfort is key necessary and important
/I must not confuse comfort with safety; as a white person, I am safe in the discussion of racism
/The antidote to guilt is action
/It takes courage to break with white solidarity; how can I support those who do?
/I bring my group's history with me; history matters
/Given my socialization, it is much more likely that I am the one who doesn't understand the issue
/Nothing exempts me from the forces of racism
/My analysis must be intersectional (a recognition that my other social identities – class, gender, ability – inform how I was socialised into the racial system)
/Racism hurts (even kills) people of color 24-7/ Interrupting it is more important than my feelings, ego, or self-image
These assumptions might interrupt racism in the following ways:
/Minimise our defensiveness
/Demonstrate our vulnerability
/Demonstrate our curiosity and humility
/Allow for growth
/Stretch our worldwide
/Ensure action
/Demonstrate that we practice what we profess to value
/Build authentic relationships and trust
/Interrupt privileged-protecting comfort
/Interrupt internalised superiority
When white people ask me what to do about racism, I ask “what has enabled you to be a full, educated, professional adult and not know what to do about racism?”. We need to educate ourselves without the expectation of reaching out to people of color to teach us (putting the responsibility back onto them).
I am not guilty about racism, I didn't choose this socialization and it could not be avoided but I'm responsible for my role in it. To the degree that I have done my best in each moment to interrupt my participation, I can rest with a clearer conscience. It is a messy, life long process, but one that is necessary to align my professed values with my real actions. p.154
/Book Review sets out to share some of my favourite library finds, encouraging others to do the same :)
