2021 Year in Review

I love looking back on the year! I think my 2021 was a mix of the following: creativity/covid/sadness/courage/renovations.  I'm really proud of myself for navigating my way through, making some bold choices, following my heart, loads of creativity, strength, and making our home beautiful :) :)

My 2021 monthly blog project was Creative Mock & Submit, where I drew and submitted a design each month.  I promised an update at the end of the year.  Out of all the companies I submitted to, only one emailed back and that was to say they do in-house design.  Despite always having super high expectations around my creativity, I was fairly open to whatever direction this monthly challenge headed.  Reflecting back, all I can say is that it's tough being an artist! BUT I'm super proud for putting myself out there and not letting rejection stop me :)

JANUARY

We finished our lounge/dining room renovation in January, felt great to start the year with fresh white walls!

FEBRUARY

Was the due date month of my miscarriage, and I got incredibly sad - sad at seeing pregnant people, sad at seeing my period, sad at random times of the day/month. I went to the doctor to get referred to a psychologist but that lead to a dead-end (they were either booked out or very expensive!). I struggled on throughout the months and luckily I was able to overcome my grief/depression on my own which I'm really grateful for :) Big love for anyone out there who has or is currently going through the low times themselves! I have no grand solutions just the story to share where my heaviness (which felt unmoveable!) became much lighter.

Reno-wise we got solar installed and finished the hallway and Ben's bedroom!

MARCH

I experienced my first covid test, negative luckily :) We were super lucky in QLD to have low cases and low restrictions.  Very very lucky!! 

Throughout the year we worked on our garden (battled our ongoing bamboo saga) and I took lots of sky photos and continued the bought gift made series. I also did loads of paintings over at Spirit You! 

MAY

We took joop to the vet for an official "fat toe" diagnosis.  Luckily after a few weeks and no walks (sad dog!) Joop's swollen toe was back to normal:) I also went to a first nations weaving workshop which was super fun :)

JUNE
Visited the nambour show, sanded bedroom windows, and started compiling my poetry book

JULY
First time to try VR and acupuncture and a covid vaccination and I quit my job!!!
I had been wanting to quit for a long time but finally had the courage.
After quitting I threw myself into my art and poetry! 

My turtle shield paintings

Throughout the year I also did lots of book reviews and kept my Thrifty Sunday series (just!) going :)

My thrifted pair of tap dance shoes.  I want to get more into tap dancing (learn routines!) in 2022

AUGUST
I finished my poetry book – just need to get it published (new goal for 2022!)

SEPTEMBER
My printer died which in a way spelled the end for my burntfeather etsy shop (currently on vacation mode) but potentially a full close down next year! End of an era! On a happier note, I had a lovely stroll around Noosa Botanics!

OCTOBER
Picked up a free desk off fb marketplace which started the bedroom reno.  

Also had the scare of my life when my hard drove froze which almost spelled the end of my poetry book but I was (thankfully!) able to retrieve it all!! 

NOVEMBER
I gave Ben a fresh fade haircut (thanks you-tube!) and coloured my hair the most purple colour I could find at the supermarket (sadly not that purple)

DECEMBER
My little brother turned 18 and we saw van gogh alive
and a big heaviness arrived as Ben's Neice died and we drove down to Port Macquarie :(

Also, despite going the 100% creative route, it was super financially scary (can I eat this week?!?), so I started a new job, which hopefully will still give me loads of creative time as well.  I'm telling ya this artist gig is tough but I'm gonna keep going forever because of how much fulfillment/happiness it brings!

2022
I'm envisioning more creativity, learning a proper tap dance routine, IVF,  another go at full-time creativity, believing in myself, allowing emotions, and getting my poetry book published! That's probably too much but go big or go home :P

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2020 Year In Review

Every year I love to look back over my journal and compile the highlights!

I started this year by sharing my diary entries after Dad died. A slightly glum way to start the year but 2019 was too huge not to have trickled over into 2020.  I didn't realise 2020 would follow suit in intensity, from the Australian bushfires at the start of the year to covid which would impact everyone!

Optimistic Fee at the start of the year!

A great distraction for the year was having our house to pour ourselves into.  I posted the original photos of the home here (interior, exterior, walk-through video) for those curious.  We knocked off lots of home projects including our huge mosaic stair-case (+ house number & failed bathroom mosaic!)

I kept up my oyster growing!

Continued blogging my beach finds, thrifting and clay adventures :)

We put in loads of new plants into our garden, including (off the top of my head!) kangaroo paw, heliconia, a lychee tree, tree fern, azaleas, flame tree, and an olive tree. 
+ my passionfruit bloomed and fruited for the first time ever!

Not surprisingly all our adventures were close to home this year! One of the most fun was visiting an abandoned dinosaur park!

We also got to see the water exhibition at GOMA

And we stayed with Ben's family at Bribie and got to swim in science equipment :P

We hired a cement truck, dug a huge trench, and started the war on our garden's invasive bamboo, or at least a first attempt to try and control it :) We also built an outdoor eating area, ripped out our front and back porch, built a new front ramp, and have grand plans to have our deck built by mid 2021! Oh and Ben restumped our house - we were busy!

Our animals kept us sane at home :)

Despite numerous trips to the vet this year, they're all doing well *knocks on wood*

We also got in plenty of nature adventures!

In 2020 I started a new series, reviewing books from the library.  I also wanted to start educating myself on the black lives movement (and my role as a white person) which shamefully I started to unearth many blind spots in my thinking (still learning, still on that journey!)

I made the emotional decision to sell my Dad's ute

And Ben and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary by braving our local "theme" park :P

I continued my bought/gift/made series
Kester black's nail polish was a definite win for small (covid) joys!

This year's monthly challenge was to write a poem a month.  I'm proud to say I succeeded and overcame my fear of publicly sharing my writing.  My dream is still to land a poetry book deal so I'm going to continue chugging on with that long term goal!

We visited Ben's mum in Biggenden and met her friend Bev who gave us so many succulent cuttings for our garden!

We also visited the Noosa and Brisbane botanical gardens for our nature hit/garden inspiration!

I started the year in Feb by having extension surgery for my endometriosis.  I have pain associated with the disease but the main reason was infertility.  It was a very pleasant surprise 4 months later when I finally got a positive pregnancy test.  Many doctors and hospital trips later I ended up having a miscarriage at home.  The day after the miscarriage I had the most intense pain of my life and needed to call an ambulance.  They dismissed me at the hospital for simply being emotional about my miscarriage but it was nice to speak to my fertility doctor, afterwards, who explained that if you have a cyst present, pregnancy can cause it to enlarge and that my pain was most likely from it bursting.  

The fertility doctor seems hopeful I will fall pregnant again but I'm trying not to live my life focused on it (very hard not to) and just enjoy the fact that I'm alive and not experiencing hospital-level pain!!

I am very grateful to be alive, to be healthy, and to have a new year to look forward too :)

Bring on 2021!

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2019 Year in Review

I normally excite in going back over my year and compiling the happenings but this year is different.  

For the first time, I stopped blogging.  

I tell people it's been the best and the worst year of my life.  There has been so many amazing things that have happened - the biggest life dream eventuated - we bought a house.  I started a diary the days leading up to the house closure because I knew it was an incredible dream I was living through. The days leading up to the house were also (unknown at the time) the days leading up to Dad's death.  The morning the real estate rang to tell us we got the house was the morning I couldn't get through to Dad.  It wasn't until after lunch and lots of texting and telling myself "don't worry" that I found out the news and Ben drove me to go see him that one last time.  

I have lost people before, people incredible dear but Dad's death sent me to a place I'd never quite been before.  I'm not sure there is anyone in the World who loved me as much as my Dad.  Words I say not to discredit the amazing love I have around me but to acknowledge the powerful unconditional love he gifted.  For three months I found myself in a place so hard to articulate but profoundly beautiful and as equally sad.   A place with no footing in daily routine or care about the small.  I could talk with Dad constantly and my body craved nature, so that's what I did.  Each day I found tiny life-lines back to the real World which I'd have resisted more if not for Dad reminding me of the need for forward momentum and exploding my weirdness/sadness onto Ben so I wouldn't be a grief island. 

I'm now completely back, it's a lot harder to access Dad but sometimes I'll find certain places that I can reach out.  I got routines back. I got eating back.  I got happiness back.  My grief is now just a companion who likes to remind me, every so often, how much I loved my Dad.

When someone dies there isn't just grief you have to deal with, for Dad we had to close down his business, deal with ongoing court cases (still dealing), step into the role of executor, loads of legal peeps and paperwork (I taught myself probate) and organising practical things like funeral arrangements, I even became his security for a while replying to emails to tell clients of his passing.  We still have so much to wrap up. So much.  This was all wrapped up in settling our first house, something Ben and I were completely clueless on. Then moving and learning how to renovate (the floors at least are sanded and completed!).  I remember the real estate gentlemen visiting with flowers and paperwork and I, being unable to stop crying. Sometimes I still have long bouts of tears.

My computer also saw its final days and having only just recently been upgraded (hello Mac World!), I'm finally back to editing, back to wanting to share my life again.  I think over the next few months I'll try and recap my 2019 a little better, I wasn't taking a whole lot of photos but I tried to remind myself to document because it felt important.

In other incredible news we got a rescue pup called Jupiter (who featured in our 2019 x-mas photo) amd definitely deserves her own full post. It was also the first time I travelled in an ambulance and stayed more than a few hours in hospital (ended up having my appendix removed), destroyed my iphone after leaving it on top of my car and then not-so-smartly driving off *face palm*, first time to see a koala in nature and utilise my first aid skills as the first responder on a car accident (pretty nerve racking!).  Plus I got to shoot my first gay wedding, which will happily go down as an absolute favourite wedding to attend/shoot/be apart of! 

I'm telling you 2019 was a mix bag.

I started the year strong with year of fear and even though it got washed away with grief/life happenings it was the best yearly challenge I've embarked upon to date

A few creative projects, some I haven't blogged about yet but my monstera artwork and cat tree were responsible for snatching some of my time :)

Along with Spirit You and making Yonis :P

No year would be complete without a visit to Goma and getting to see the APT 9 was pretty special!

Supporting our local town, official locals now :)

I tried out two different camera's (fuji X-T2 and the Canon 5d Mark iii) before settling on the Canon 6dmark ii which has been going along greatly

Managed to sneak in some op shopping

I randomly spent a week watching a bunch of orchids videos on youtube.  After Dad died I was given one of his orchids (previously his Mum's) and so I'm striving to be the best guardian I can be.  A bunch of new growth has emerged which tells me I'm on the right path!

And the emotional journey of my oyster mushrooms.  It was actually the last blog entry I made before Dad passed.  I bought Dad a mushroom kit last Christmas and we were deep in experimenting and exchanging notes right up until he left.  A couple of weeks ago I thought I felt strong enough to start experimenting again.  My first batch was the most incredible batch I'd ever harvested.  I got a shock seeing how many mushrooms had sprouted from a single bucket.  I was so happy.  I remembering bursting into tears wishing I could tell Dad and wondering if I had started my mushroom journey a little too soon for all the emotions still inside of me.  

I try and spend time reflecting back on my strength and reflecting that I'm still here and I'm still moving forward.

2019 you have been the best and worst year of my life.

I'm so grateful to still be here.

For anyone out there that has felt the full spectrum of emotions in 2019 I tip my hat to you and applaud you for still breathing at the end of it all :)

I hope we're all gifted 2020 because I think it's going to be quite special!

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2018 Year in Review

Looking back at 2018 fills me with loads of contentment. When I was kid, I'd hear things like "just wait to you're older" and not in the good context either, more like, when you reach this mythical age of adulthood you will be swamped by the stresses of the world, with money problems and things that you'd never even imagine as a kid. Now I'm 34 and each year just keeps getting better and better.  I have more control over my time, I have more vision to my direction and I just feel super happy and grateful to be alive! I'm so stoked for 2019.  I was super eager to put away our Christmas stuff on boxing day not because I wanted Christmas to be gone just because I'm ready for the next chapter!

In 2018, I continued with my bought/gift/made series!

Carmen and Ben's mum came to stay with us at the start of the year and she taught us mosaics!

I successfully completed my year of blooms project (still have December to post!) It was such a great project to do, I feel like I learnt so much about gardening and flowers and just got deep on the nature appreciation tangent, which is exactly where I want my life headed!

Although clay died down when we got to our new place, the first half of the year was strong!

Ben and I celebrated out 8th year anniversary and took a trip down to Brisbane

I had a go at kick starter!

We visited Goma and saw the Patricia Piccinini exhibition

Yayoi Kusama!

I got into paper making and hoarding petals to include with my paper.

I continued learning about gardening, set up a garden at our old place and a new one at our current home

Focused on making my wooden stands and establishing my side project Spirit You.  

To be honest about 70% of my free time went to this and I have zero regrets!

Lowy taught me how to weave a basket out of cane

I didn't take as much film as I'd like but I did throw myself into a more active lifestyle, continuing it over from 2017. Lots of mountain climbs and bush walks and swims and I tried stand up paddle boarding for the first time and loved it!

For my birthday I visited Nimbin and tried glamping for the first time

I also gave the pottery a wheel ago and stuck with it until I was able to produce something half decent

I also visited Crystal Castle on my birthday which was an utterly magical experience

I'm not sure if I ever shared on here but Gremlin's health took a really bad turn this year.  After moving he developed feline urinary disorder which we narrowed down to the stress of moving into a new environment and change.  There was a stage where we had to race him to an emergency vet and lucky Ben had the funds to go ahead with whatever was needed to save him.  He now has to be on a special diet for the rest of his life and we just have to keep a super close eye on him.  

I love our cats so much, the thought of them not being around breaks my heart!!

I made some beach trips this year and added to my collection

I also devoted hours to watching youtube makeup tutorials so I could learn cat eye! Not an expert but I'm a lot better than I used to be! I also started growing out my bleached hair to let it recover and in the process noticed lots of tiny greys :P

We said goodbye to our house in the country and moved into suburbia

I finally was able to wear earrings again after having sensitive ears for so long

Totally in love with my new room and the ability to decorate it!

Although I didn't get to go as much as I'd liked I still made solid efforts to go thrifting when I could!

I bought my first large piece of furniture and got into chalk painting!

We visited an orchid show and I fell further in love with orchids this year

We visited Ben's mum out in biggenden and his brother down in Port Macquarie earlier in the year

And I finished the year off creatively by making Spirit Yonis!

Every year I fill out a little questionnaire of my year (just for myself) which I save in a folder.  One of the questions is, "what date remains etched in your memory?" and for me it's Nov. 14th.  I don't think I talked about this on my blog but I finally found out I have endometriosis.  I might do a big blog entry on it at some stage its just progressed at such a slow pace with many moving parts that its never felt complete to share. Nov 14th stands out in particular because it was my first time to have surgery and general anesthetic.  Looking back it was a really amazing time in my life, it made me slow down and refocus and I'm really grateful for it and all the amazing free health care I received and continue to receive and Ben being around.  I now have loads more clarity on my health an amazing feeling when previously I'd felt in the dark. 

I'm 100% positive for 2019, apparently (according to Elizabeth Peru) it's going to fast paced creative year and one where you'll need to avoid the negative chatter around - I can do that, I think!

I wish each and everyone of you an amazing year ahead!!!

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